Choice quotes from...

... my favourite radio show. Part II:

There’s so many excuses for not doing exercise right now. I mean, very likely in the apocalyptic scenario you’ll be running from something, so right there you’ve got no excuse not to do your jogging.

Jonathan: What about your warrior spirit? What’s your warrior name again?
Howard: . . . Allan.

There’s nothing in the dream dictionary about Nazi dogs, and so I don’t know whether to fret or not.

Jonathan: So instead of eating the Chex Mix, you accidentally ate a handful of bees.
Julian (aka Jellyfish Moron): Yeah. And it’s only got two-thousand hits. To date.

Souvlaki. One word, one love.

If I met someone of my own name I’d punch them in the face as hard as I could.

Jonathan: His hobby is collecting matchbooks.
Gregor: I don’t see what’s lame about that, matchbooks are interesting. What do you collect? Regrets, mistakes... matchbooks might be a nice change of pace.

It’s a scientific fact that if you unravel your intestines and you unravel your brain and you tie them together, you can reach the moon. That’s scientifically proven.

I’ll be like your spine. The spine you never had.

It started stinging, and I threw it down, and I poured my homemade margarita on my face while I was yelling ‘There’s fire in my face, there’s fire in my face, somebody put out the fire in my face,’ which has subsequently been put onto a lot of, y’know, t-shirts and mousepads... and there’s even a chain restaurant in the Midwest selling margarita glasses that say ‘Fire in my face, fire in my face.’ I haven’t seen a dime from any of this, by the way.

The farmer can’t plough with a dead horse. Tell him that.

No one calls my friend a creative type!

What I like about zombies is that they’re so interested in brains. In our culture we’re so superficial, we’re always looking at appearance, and there’s just so little attention paid to education that to have a bunch of people who just go around yelling ‘brains’ all the time... it’s just like, thank you. That’s the wakeup call I think we need.



WireTap.